Here at the Midwest Values PAC Center for Innovation in Fundraising Emails, our scientists are working around the clock to develop new and exciting ways of asking you to donate some of your hard-earned cash to help us help Democrats win.
We’re really excited about the projects we’re working on: high-definition links, recursive ask strings, non-Euclidean fonts (I don’t fully understand them, but I’m told they could increase click-through rates and potentially bend spacetime). And of course, the team is hard at work perfecting our next-generation “extra asks” — the P.S.s of tomorrow.
But here’s what we’ve found: The best way to motivate you to give is to tell you the truth — that winning back the House and the Senate in the midterm elections (which is less than a year away!) is our best shot at stopping Trump and his MAGA henchmen and make gains towards restoring our collective sanity.
Our scientists don’t like to hear this, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t actually matter how clever we are in telling you about the imminent threat posed by the Trump administration and his morally corrupt sycophants known as the GOP.
The only thing that matters is whether we can support the best candidates and causes through Midwest Values PAC — not to be dramatic but it’s critical for the future of our democracy.
The MVP Center for Innovation doesn’t require much funding (just toss a case of vintage Jolt! Cola down there and the scientists will work all night). But making sure we have the resources to support Democrats takes real resources.
Thanks,
Al
P.S. Another Democratic sweep in the midterms could effectively make Trump a lame duck! Wouldn’t that be fun?
